Shady Vans

Saw this shady on the freeway, making a speedy getaway.  And if you had any question to the shadiness… [Blank] Creek Free Press?

Shady Rating = 5.8.  Lots of windows, but an interesting luggage rack on top.  Perhaps used for strapping down Big Wheels?

Where are you off to in such a rush, shady?

Why don’t you pop open those back doors and let us see your wares?

Shady Rating = 7.2.

Shady Rating = 2.  Lots of windows, public location.  Not really a full van.  More of the mini-van variety.  Almost not worth mentioning.  Marginally shady.  Slow day in Shadyville.

I guess you could hide an abducted kid under a blanket, and hope that everyone is distracted by the shiny rims.  Seriously, rims?

Call Pat if you want to go horseback riding.  But from the looks of this shady van, all you’ll get is a ride to the darkest part of a dark, dark forest.

Shady Rating = 7.8.

Cowboy Conversions sponsored this shady van.  What was this van before?  A shady van without a ladder, that’s for sure. I’ve never understood what that little ladder was for… barbecueing on top?  Stargazing?  Better lookout for abduction targets?

Adding to the relative shadiness of this van is its natural habitat: a dark urban alleyway.

Shady Rating = 6.9 (too many windows, but the ladder and alley add to the ick factor)

Making your own enclosed “private” room for your truck bed doesn’t make it a shady van.  Shady?  Yes.  Van?  No.

But worth mentioning nonetheless.

Shady Rating = 3.

“First Student?”  Someone’s keeping track of their progress in a very public way.  Get a notebook, chester.

Shady Rating = 6.  Too many windows for a higher raiting.  Parked close to a park, which is shady, but the parallel parking job too inefficient for a quick getaway.  Boooooooo!

Fat kid in back.  Ugh.

Shady Rating = 8.5.  No windows.  Bad tires.  Waiting outside an apartment building.

This shady van has got to be abandoned, too, btw.  Note the parking ticket.  Well played.  Parking cops 1, chester 0.

He might be a felon, but at least he’s stopping to vote to make his shady voice heard.  Hmmmm… which party?  Republican?  Democrat?  Nope.  NAMBLA.

Shady Rating = 9.1.

Hat tip to Maproom on Flickr.

Comedian and writer Michael Ian Black lists his Top 8 Custom Vans on Best Week Ever.  Hilarious.

Big Bear Van. Nothing lures the kiddos like a big black bear sniffing for flesh.  Way to go.  Points for windowlessness and a driver’s side “step-up” for a fast getaway.  Shady Rating = 8.9.

Also, where is this van parked?  Buzz Aldrin’s house?  Is that the remnants of Apollo VII behind the van?