Shady Vans

Call Pat if you want to go horseback riding.  But from the looks of this shady van, all you’ll get is a ride to the darkest part of a dark, dark forest.
Shady Rating = 7.8.

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Cowboy Conversions sponsored this shady van.  What was this van before?  A shady van without a ladder, that’s for sure. I’ve never understood what that little ladder was for… barbecueing on top?  Stargazing?  Better lookout for abduction targets?
Adding to the relative shadiness of this van is its natural habitat: a dark urban alleyway.
Shady Rating = [...]

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“First Student?”  Someone’s keeping track of their progress in a very public way.  Get a notebook, chester.
Shady Rating = 6.  Too many windows for a higher raiting.  Parked close to a park, which is shady, but the parallel parking job too inefficient for a quick getaway.  Boooooooo!

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The reflectors placed on the tail of this shady van were likely left as warnings from other children, but will, unfortunately, do as much to attract newcomers.
Then again, the lack of symmetry suggest that an adult tried to put these on as a child would.  Shady.
Reflectors attract attention, which is something most chesters want to [...]

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Possible reasons for such a low-sitting van?

Purposefully lowered to allow for an easier step-up for young, short legs?
Too many bags of candy?
King-size mattress?

Or, the one thing we’re all thinking, but are too ashamed to say… stacks of bodies?
In any case, Shady Rating = 8. (Too many windows, er, escape hatches, to get a full, glorious [...]

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Jessica from Indexed knows what we’re talkin’ about:

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Ah, the first van. All the elements are here:

Deserted hotel.
Van parked where 50% of windows are blocked by wall.
Sidewalks overtaken by grass.

Got your own van pic?  Send to sir [at] shadyvans [dot] com!

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